Day 12 PAD 2023

 This poem is presented in its rough draft form for the PAD 2023 challenge and will be revised.

“Awashed in the Past”

The cascade of history
bruises my eardrums
    fills my lungs
    constricts my heart
        until I have to give in to the drenching
        rush of what might have been

Snippets of the past create a roar
against the stones of time
I catch a few drops
    traveling back
    into the stream of memories
        that pelt my skin
        sharp, then dissipating on my sense
        of who I should have been

I hear milestones of my past

Shotgun blast
Broken drywall
Drunken speech
Dead dial tone

But my heart drops me into a moment of possibilities
    I am your son
    sitting at your feet
    football in my hands
    Waiting to hear “I love you”
        in the spiral of a pass
        I catch on the run
            in the backyard
    I see your hands raised
        the air filled with “Touchdownnnnn!”

A wave crashes into my chest
    bringing me back to now
    my hands empty
    wondering what it sounds like
        to have your father’s voice
            cheer for you in real life

PAD 2022 Day 21: Sound

 

This poem is presented in its rough draft form for the PAD 2022 challenge and will be revised. 

PAD Prompt: Sound

Poetic Form: Irregular Ode

“Ode to Music”

A minivan filled with voices,

Singing about Bruno

Smiles and laughter

As I hit a bad note

For decades music has filled my ears

And comforted my soul

As a child living with the other parent

bedroom in the unfinished basement

My little radio gave me lyrics

to dream about

instead of the darkness that filled the space

outside the doorway

The moon walk took me to another parent

While I learned to express myself

On cardboard

I felt like there was no stopping me

The break in the beats made me dance

My coin drop was word

I made poetry with my toprock verses

But I was known for my own suicide

Coming out of a windmill

to fall as if on a cross

It never hurt as bad as my unanswered questions of life

Another step-dad

Another genre of music

Grunge filled my college dorm

I knew why I never went home

Even as I screamed the question

“Why go home?”

New friends 

Shared that we all have unanswered prayers

In all genres

I found love songs

and had to hit repeat on heartbroken lyrics

Until someone found me 

and we had our song

had our dance

Then wrote a new family musical

My playlists are like photo albums 

that bring tears to my mind.

Snap shots of all this life has given

and taken from me

After fifty years music is a landslide 

that is music to my soul.