Monday, September 3, 2018

The Walker



10:37 p.m. Tuesday night.

The back road was empty next to the neighborhood that was developing about a mile away from the city. Light could be seen from a handful of windows and street lamps scattered across the the cul-de-sacs. A single streetlamp at the intersection of Maple and 87th Ave., one of two roads that brought people to the neighborhood, created a cone of light that revealed the farmland filled with corn stalks on the west side of the road. It was quiet. It was safe.

10:39 p.m. Tuesday night.

In the cone of light created by the streetlamp at the intersection of Maple and 87th Ave., a man appeared as if he walked out of the darkness instead of walking on the street. If anyone saw him, they would assume he was old, homeless, and lost. He wore three layers of t-shirts underneath a vest you would find on someone who was fly fishing. He limped with an up down motion on his left side. His fingernails were dirty. His hair was white, messy. If you had the chance to talk with him, his eyes would wander, never making eye contact. He slowly walked through the light toward the city.

A set of headlights appeared in front of the man. Derrick was heading home from Sonic. He had stopped to get a slushie after playing basketball at the YMCA. A group of school friends were hanging out, so he had decided to stay for a while. He texted his parents to ask if he could be home by 11:00. They were fine with it. Derrick was feeling good, music a little loud.

Derrick was surprised to see the man walking down 87th Ave. He released the gas a little as he moved over to the left lane to give the man space. As Derrick passed the man, he made the assumption that he was homeless and forgot about him as he turned right onto Maple, then right again onto Spruce Ct. Which was one of six cul-de-sacs in the neighborhood. Derrick’s home faced 87th Ave. There was an empty lot between the his house and 87th Ave. As Derrick reached up to push the button on the garage door opener, he saw the man, still on the avenue, but now facing him. There was just enough light from the streetlamp to see him. Derrick never noticed that he could actually see all of the man, even though the light should have only exposed the man’s left side. For a second, Derrick thought about locking his doors. The garage door was slowly opening, revealing the light from the garage door opener. Derrick’s attention moved to driving the car forward. The idea of getting ready for bed and the homework he probably should do before going to bed replaced the man in his mind. Derrick started to take his foot off the brake when motion outside his window drew his attention.

Derrick looked quickly outside the driver side window to see the man standing there. A slight smile on his grimy face, eyes still unfocused, and his hands moving up toward the window. Derrick had just enough time to register everything before the shattering of glass made him let go of the steering wheel to shield his face. His car moved slowly forward into the garage to bang into the fridge the family used to hold drinks like Gatorade, water, and sometimes extra beer. The impact was loud enough to wake Derrick’s mom, June.

June shook her husband, Robert. He grumbled then turned over. June got up, grabbed her robe from the hope chest at the end of the bed. She assumed she would run into her son in the hallway, but the house was still dark and quiet. She thought she could hear Derrick’s car still running in the garage. June felt that motherly instinct in her gut that something was not right. With the bang she heard, and the car still running, she sighed heavily as she considered the possibility that Derrick might have been drinking. She had worried about this moment since Derrick started junior high. June could feel her cheeks get warm as she unexpectedly felt anger gripping her heart. It was a Tuesday night.
June continued through the living room to the hallway with the door to the garage. June could definitely hear the car running and hurried to the door. June’s anger gripped tighter around her chest as she turned the knob.

June hurried down the three stairs to the floor. Anger was replaced with panic as soon as she saw the car’s grill pressed against the refrigerator, heard music playing, and saw the shards of glass around the edge of the driver side window.

    “Derrick! Robert come here!” June yelled as she pulled open the car door… to find the front seat empty.

10:43 p.m. Thursday night.

A single streetlamp at the intersection of Vine and 26th street created a cone of light that revealed the well maintained lawns. A single bark breaks the silence.

10:46 p.m. Thursday night.

In the cone of light created by the streetlamp at the intersection of Vine and 26th street, a man appeared. If anyone saw him, they would assume he was old, homeless, and lost. He wore four layers of t-shirts underneath a vest you would find on someone who was fly fishing. He limped with an up down motion on his left side. His fingernails were dirty. His hair was white, messy. If you had the chance to talk with him, his eyes would wander, never making eye contact. He slowly walked down Vine Street. Three blocks away a set of headlights appeared.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Fade



As I walk away
With goodbyes still echoing in my ears
I smile with a frown
Knowing that each passing minute
hour
day
month
and year
As others hear the same goodbyes
my name will fade into stories of “Remember when…”
Then to “What was his name…”

Because we all fade away
We all

fade

away...

Thursday, July 19, 2018

I Know the Devil Fancies Me


*inspired by a line from the song, “St. Ideas,” from Macklemore (in italics)


I know the devil fancy me

When the light fades from my heart
Walls are constructed in minutes
Doubt, in a hard hat, bossing the workers,
    megaphone turned up
Fear laying down bricks after anger applies the mortar
I guess Love is on an extended coffee break
    because the truck sits empty

And there is the devil, smiling over the blueprints
    of the house we will live in
He dreams of family dinners alone
Drinking his favorite spirits in a dark living room
“Oh what a life we will build,”
    he whispers into my soul
“Think of all the empty photo albums we will fill
    with what could have been
The minutes, the hours, the years recorded with just a dash
    on a headstone that no one visits
I promise you these will be hurtful years”


But that don't mean that *****  gets to dance with me

I grab a backpack, fill it with a few books,
    past love letters, paper, and pens
Turn toward the devil to throw him the keys
He rolls the blueprints tightly in his hands until the ink
    flows like blood between his knuckles
Hate drops the iron door he was preparing to hang
All construction stops
The devil takes my hand as if to dance, inquires
    “Where do you think you’re going?”
I pull free, declining the invitation to move
    into a house that isn’t home
“I’m joining Love for coffee,” I say as I walk away

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Denotation Life


Happiness is just a cliché
A simile that is supposed to paint a picture perfect smile
To cover the cracks that show through your skin

This is not a hyperbole
Darkness outshines light, let’s be honest about
The paradox of this existence
The connotations are just too cloudy for anyone’s point of view

See this anecdote doesn’t have a happy Hollywood ending
There is no sequel to this short story,
only flashbacks that interrupt the narrative
Disrupting the tone of my verse
The rhyme scheme off
    because I write in free verse
    but with a sonnet mindset

I know no one will save these words as an allusion to explain
The irony of a story with no symbolism
Just a one star rating for this autobiographical soliloquy

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

These Words


Let these words wash over your dirty hands
    Cleansing the world from your life lines

Let these words flood your covered ears
    Drowning out the pollution from your prayers

Let these words blind your watery eyes
    Dilating your vision to a single meaning

These words are more than my breath crossing through vocal cords
    They are bread crumbs for you to follow
        as you walk past the witch's home
            chimney billowing smoke
            door open so you can hear her mumbling about
            how she will get you someday

But not today
Not at this moment
These words were once mine
they are yours now
Meant for you to consume
To savor
To break off a piece
and share with someone who is hungry, too
   
        Just remember that I wrote them for your happiness...

Thursday, June 14, 2018

I'll be the one


I’ll be the one you can dance with
    when the melody is the storm

I’ll be the one you can laugh with
    when the punchline is another hardship

I’ll be the one you can lock hands with
    when the distance is unspoken words

I’ll be the one you can walk with
    when the compass has lost true north

I’ll  be the one you can dream with
    when sand has filled the bottom of life

I’ll be the one who sings
I’ll be the one who dances
I’ll be the one who loves
    You
        when all the world has turned away

I’ll be the one
    that completes this two...

Friday, June 1, 2018

If you want to see forever


If you want to see forever
use the rest stop at mile marker 167
    On Interstate 90 in South Dakota
   Next to the town, Belvidere, population 49
    Watch the clouds fill the sky
        like a bag of cotton balls
    The grassy plain cuts the horizon miles away
You can see the thunderstorm in the east
    A curtain of rain
        that you will encounter only after traveling for hours

If you want to see forever
 sit with a child in front of a Christmas tree
    On Dec 23, with presents before you
    They already know which ones have their name
    Know the sound of what’s inside
        hoping it matches their dreams
    The stockings still empty on the banister
You can see the anticipation heavy in their eyes
    Smile already building
        that you secretly know will be beaming Christmas Eve

If you want to see forever
 watch a young couple in a restaurant
On their third date
Their gaze never far from each other
Laughter as they share food from the plates
    extending their forks across the table
    Bites playfully as their eyes lock
You can see how lost they are
    In their moment
        unaware of the bustle of everyday life around them

If you want to see forever
 stop to speak to the gentleman
    On the porch of a run-down home
    The years worn into his hands
    Life drying out his throat
        making his memories hard to share
    So they pile up behind his lungs, raspy and slow
You can see the effects of life on his shoulders
    Once square, now curved,
        waiting only for the day of rest

If you want to see forever
  breathe in at this moment
    On the next exhale
    Feel how your heart beats
    To the rhythm of your life
        created by choices and fate
    A paradoxical rule that no one knows
You can see time move through your relationships
    Loved ones and enemies
        all saying your name

If you want to see forever
   
open your heart