This poem is presented in its rough draft form for the PAD 2022 challenge and will be revised.
PAD Prompt: Second Chance
Poetic Form: Prose
“Yesterday”
There are times, when the past calls me to follow it down the stairs. Promising no harm, yet the light switch never works. The darkness whispers to me, drawing me down seldom used stairs. Each step creaking as I step back - back to any moment in time that I could have been important to you, both of you. I could have been loved like a son. Protected. Tossed a ball to. Had someone there on Parents’ Night.
My feet touch the concrete floor. My eyes adjust. The outlines of memories are visible, I recognize them because I lived them. I feel the darkness that sits in the middle of their existence. I admit to a heavy desire to bring them up the stairs, into the light. Hoping against hope that I can refurbish them. Freshen the paint. Make each memory joyful.
I touch the edge of an old black and white TV. One of the first memories of you wasted on a bed that lays on a floor. The sunlight making the dust dance. I watch a movie about giant spiders. I am hungry, you do not respond. I am four years old and know not what to do.
I hold the tears back, knowing that none of these memories can give me the power to write a different story. The darkness holds me there, even as I want to leave. My chest tightening. Starting to panic. It feels like you are here, stepping from the depths of yesterday. I feel the air move backwards. I am on the edge of fear and anger. I break for the stairs. Feel a hand brush my shoulder blade as I reach the top of the stairs, entering into the light of today.
You do not deserve a second chance.
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