Another Morning

It is 6:38 in the morning

The middle of the week

We use the elevator for two floors

 because our young daughters like to push the buttons

The morning room is filling up with kids

Parents pass each other with simple nods of the head

  Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it is off to work we go

We give hugs and kisses

Set our five-year-old by the window

 we will wave goodbye to her in the parking lot

A normal weekday routine

   we head out the door

She stood there grabbing his hand

  pulling him up and back to the morning room

He has to tip-toe to keep up

   he has a mischievous grin on his face

She mumbles something about staying in the room

Her coat is a doll red from the weather of years

  Her frown reveals the weight of those storms

We have crossed paths during these mornings

She never smiles

  but today she glares at me as we pass

  I feel her snap judgment as I recognize my own

I turn for a second

 with a thousand darts ready to fire

Sarcastic apologies run through my head

 Sorry, we, my wife and I, do this together

 Sorry, my daughters smile at 6:30 in the morning

 Sorry, but we also have rough mornings

I turn away

 trying to buffer her gaze with my thoughts

 to shield my day from her judgment

The rest of the kids race to the mini van

I kiss my wife goodbye

We both wave to our daughter in the second story window

  and I walk toward my car

And there she is

 walking from the doors

 a hard set pace

 child free

 but with the same deep wrinkled frown

Our eyes meet again

  there is no nod

And as I reach for a dart

  I am suddenly filled with regret

I have never seen her smile

Today she walks to a car

  but I know we have passed her in the morning

  as she and her child walk

    even in the rain

I am not sorry for my family

or for the work I’ve done to reach this place

I am sorry I forgot the struggle

 I am sorry for the untold tragedies

 for the lost joy of children

Sorry for the storms that seem to rage

  no matter the season

  and last so long

  there is no rainbow at the end

And I am sorry I jumped to a snap judgment

By chance our cars face each other

 I nod a good morning

She does not nod back