They say life is stranger than fiction. I believe them. I sat there drinking my favorite cappuccino,
double shot with Cafe Mocha Trio, looking in to the eyes of my first love. I told my self "Peter, don't mess this
up." But I wasn't sure if I meant
my marriage or the chance to tell Rose I loved her.
Amie and I had a
fight over the scrambled eggs. We were
down to 100 dollars in the checking account and still had two weeks to go
before we were paid. Our savings were
basically depleted, a dollar thirty-six had sat there for two months now.
"We have to
pay the car loan," I said.
"How? How can we pay a 236 dollar car payment with
only a 100 dollars?" Her fork
ringing the side of the plate for emphases.
"Can't you ask
your parents for some help this month?"
"No, they lent
us the money for the down payment. You
got to stop your stupid spending habits."
"I have cut
back," I couldn't believe she had brought this up again. "I haven't gotten a coffee or CD or, or
anything like that in a month."
"Really? What was the package in the mail
yesterday?” I knew I was in for a long
morning, she was looking at me from the top of her eyelids, her arms had
crossed, and her mouth was now slightly opened with the corners dragging
downward.
I knew she was
right. I had never had this much money
in my life. We both had good jobs. Not much debt. I was enjoying life, at least the material
aspect. After 10 months of marriage, I
was wondering if I truly loved this woman.
"The new Stephen King book," I answered deflated.
Amie stood up from
the table, unable to speak. She stared
at me as she took her plate into the kitchen.
"I've got to go get ready for work," she said.
I had met Amie
during our senior year at college. She
was sitting alone one day at the student union.
Studying some computer language.
For that moment, she was beautiful, hair in a slight mess, eyes intense,
and small feet dangling just above her sandals.
I walked over to her
and said "Hi, I'm Peter."
"Ok, I'm busy
Peter, but thank you for introducing yourself."
I just stood
there. I usually had no trouble with
women. I was the President of the
academic Fraternity, played all the intramural sports, and was a social
person. I just stood there.
"Peter, if you
wish to get to know me, I suggest having a Latte' in your hand.” She smiled as she pointed out the coffee shop
with her head.
"I'll be
back...” I paused waiting for her to
reveal her name.
"Latte' first,
I have to know how serious you are."
With a smile I
said, "I'll be right back."
Now about two years
later Amie is still direct, only with her anger instead of her love.
I didn't have work,
so I headed to the local Starbucks. I
needed some time to think and a good cup of coffee. I was standing in line, lost in thought. Knowing that I did need to harness in my
spending, but I wasn't sure how. I had
worked hard to put myself through school.
My parents were a waste of space, even in the beat-up Lazy-boy recliners
they spent their life in. The adult world
was filled with everyday issues that were wearing on my spirit. Bills, house repairs, lawn issues, and even
the daily habits of just being a husband.
"Peter?"
"Hu," I
replied to my name. Turning around to
see the deep green eyes of Rose.
Rose was my first
love in high school. I was a
junior. She was a freshman. We met at the Winter Formal in February. We were inseparable for a year and a
half. I knew I loved her, but I never
told her. I was scared of love. My parents' waste of life made me weary of
what love could do to you. Rose though,
she had loved me with all her heart.
Notes in my locker, flowers before big games.
Then college
came. I suspect it is the same old
story. Promises to stay in touch, to
call every night, to keep each other in the heart. Instead studying becomes before the phone
call. The heart grows restless. And life happens. We had never officially broke up; we just
stopped living the same life.
"Rose? Rose?
What are you... Man, you look good." All those high school feelings came rushing
over me. Making out under the stars
after winning homecoming. Dancing close
at prom. Six shoeboxes filled with
notes.
"I have an
internship with Davis and Jones law office.
You look good." She looked
down at my hand. "I see you’re
married," a small drop in hope from her voice.
"Yes, I
am." I didn't know what to
say. I wanted to tell her it was
rough. I wanted to tell her I missed
her. I wanted her to stay.
"Well, I have a
few minutes... do you want to sit, talk?"
"Yes, I
would. Yes, I would."
I knew in my heart
that this was a moment. I sipped the hot
cappuccino. The milk foam tickling my
lip. Amie and I had so much fun, until
we got married. I knew part of the issue
was me, I was still afraid of the silent two-chair existence. I was spending too much. Our marriage was far from over. I felt that all we needed was to change a few
things; ok I needed to change a number of things.
But there sat Rose,
ocean green eyes and the laugh that swept the world away. I thought to myself "don't mess this
up." I sipped my drink.
